As I get older, I realize that sometimes we just need to sit back and let life lead the way. When you do that, you will be led in the right direction. I know that seems like a spiritual approach and it is. I believe that we are meant to be where we are meant to be in all phases of life. That does not mean that we stop trying. It just means that we must have faith that the answers will come to us in many different ways.
We are all the same. No matter where we were born, the level of education, our nationality, our color or our gender. We are all human. I was at a fancy restaurant last night and saw how rudely the valet parker’s were treated. People handed their keys over and never even looked at the person they handed them to. I am an observer and like to watch human nature at it’s best and worst. There were no greetings, no pleasantries. I found it appalling. The man that parks your car tonight might be the man that saves your life tomorrow.
I have always lived by the code of ethics I call “Universal Right vs Reality”. We all know right from wrong but many times we over-ride our good judgement and do what we feel makes us happier. People used to have ethics and morals. They would think twice before they did something questionable. Our inner voice would ask us how we would be effecting others with our actions. Somehow, for many of us, that inner voice has been silenced. It is as if we just don’t care how our actions will impact others. Freud separated our psyche into three areas: ID, Ego and Super Ego. The ID is instant gratification, the Ego is awareness and Super Ego is conscience. I want to comfortably exist in an Ego/Super Ego world, but unfortunately, lately, I seem to be surrounded by a bunch of ID’s. Could that be the root of the word Idiot? Recently some people I have encountered in my life have substituted ethics and morals for greed. They don’t realize that Karma does come back to you and one day they will be on the other side of the Universe.
I was talking with a coworker the other day. He was saying that his friend was having marriage problems. I asked if they were happy. He said they were “Facebook Happy”. They take wonderful pictures and post them online. They write about where they go and what they do. In reality, they are miserable. The face they show to the outer world is imaginary. How many people are living Facebook happy lives?
At one time in our lives, we have all needed one. A Sounding Board. That one person in our lives that we can call and vent our thoughts to. Most of the time those thoughts will be totally irrational. Otherwise, we would not need a Sounding Board. They will let us yell and say things that do not make sense, because they know that it is making us feel better. The qualifications for a good Sounding Board is someone who will listen and not comment on the nonsense they are being told. They know that the next day all of the information you are telling them will be irrelevant so the cannot judge you on it. They need the ability to just say “mmm” and “uh huh” and if your ranting is really emotional, they are bound to agree with you. That is part of the job. The next day when you are feeling better, they have to disregard everything that they heard.
We all have passion about something. There is a part of our lives that we find more exciting and stimulating than the others. Once we realize what it is, we need to nurture it. Many times, when I am lecturing, I ask people what they would choose to do, if they had the choice. Many times people look at me blankly. They say they do not know. I then ask what their best day ever would be and they still look puzzled. I try to prod them even further. Do you like to go to the beach, or the city, or a museum or a ball game? At that point a bell rings in their head and they realize what I am asking of them. All I want to know is what makes them happy. Most people have set aside their happiness for so many other things like work or family. We all need to dig deep down and allow our happiness to flourish. What makes you happy?
Here I am . The first post of my blog. I write another blog but it is a daily journal and not interactive. Over 40,000 people know what I do each day. My family hates it when strangers know things before they do. I am a life coach by profession and counsel people from all walks of life. Young, old, wealthy, poor and all variables in between. We are all human and have a commonality among us. We all need to be heard. We all need to be validated. We all need love. We all need a friend. When I started to coach, all I wanted was to help people in need. I am glad to say that I feel as strongly about that goal today as I did years ago. I do most of my coaching for free. I tell people that their smiles and happiness is a bigger pay day to me than money. My goal for this blog is to give people a place to vent when they are sad or rejoice when they are happy. I want it to be like your mother’s kitchen. Sit down and tell me what is on your mind and then feel better. A coach is just that… a person to cheer you on in life. Join me on this journey.